Hello, it's me again...

Sigh. Nearly a week since I've deactivated. So far, it's been strange. When I see an article online I would like to share or discuss, I have to keep it to myself. No longer can I hit that little blue ''f'' and post it to me wall for all to see. When I'm watching videos on YouTube, same thing. It's all for me and me alone. I can tell people who I regularly see face to face or have some other means of contact, which is good because it encourages actual conversations. I'm missing out on things, I know. Important things are happening in my friend's lives, and I'm none the wiser unless they make the effort to let me know.

At first, the break was liberating. I was no longer obligated to sign in. I had time to anything I wanted. Which, turns out to be, not a whole hell of a lot. I work. I come home, still turning on the computer, but now it's seemed to have lost it's purpose. I forgot how to use the internet without facebook somewhere, lurking in the background. Always beckoning me to, come reason through thousands of statuses, read dozens of articles and posts. Play games. Watch videos. I have to actually go looking for things to amuse myself. I was hoping the time I was saving, could be spent writing, but I've been at work a lot this week, which leads to a lack of creative brain functioning. But, hopefully soon.

As for any news in my life. Nothing significant to report. The Oscar's are tonight. You'll be watching. I'll be sleeping. I'm rooting for George Clooney. I saw the Descendants. His was a performance worthy of an award. I'm not just biased, I promise. Had they recognized Ryan Gosling, which is a crime he was nominated for nothing, considering his performances in ''Drive'', ''Crazy, Stupid, Love'' and ''The Ides of March'', were some of the best I'd seen in years, I'd have a serious delima on my hands. But, again. Not biased.

Also, I've made an appointment for Rizzo to be ''fixed'' It's a routine operation. I'll have her back at the end of the day. She's going to be fine. These are all things I'm being told and keep repeating to myself. Doesn't stop me from being a nervous wreck. March 5th I have to take my baby in. Prayers and good thoughts are encouraged. Mostly for me.

Do I miss facebook? Yes. But mostly the people. The feeling of being constantly connected to several hundred individual lives all at one time. It's actually kind of lonely, but I think that's what's wrong with it as a whole. People use it to replace actual contact. Why should you call or write someone when you already know everything going on with them? Why should you hang out when that not only involves getting dressed and leaving the house, but also, you can just post something on their wall? It's not quite to the extreme where people are eliminating all contact, but we aren't heading in a good direction guys.

Do I want to come back. Yes. And, no. At this very moment, I'm so tempted just to say, ''To heck with it.'' and come running back. But, there is a huge part of me that wants to see this through. Mainly, to prove to myself, I.can.quit.at.any.time. As Lesley Gore once said, ''You don't own me.''I'm hoping I'll come back, like seeing an old lover again, after you've gone on with your life. No one expected you would. Everyone said you wouldn't make it after the break-up. But now, you can see that person and not feel the compulsion to throw yourselves at their feet and beg them to take you back. Calling and leaving hysteric voice mails. Pleas of how, ''things will be different this time'' Drive by their house late at night to see what they're doing and who they're with. No, this time, it will be on my terms. I've moved on. I am my own person. I can take or leave you. Facebook, that is.

But, if I being honest. It is a little lonely without it.

I hope you are all enjoying your lives and everyone is happy and taken care of! I hope to hear from some of you soon! Let me know how you are.